Those are the two most common questions that I got asked when I meet new people on the road. So I finally decided to answer that. First, let me start with “Why do I travel alone”. I’m sorry if I would disappoint some of you but the answer is pretty simple: I have not to find the right companion yet. Yes, I dated a few guys in my life. Some of them I still friend with simply because they are awesome people and our goals just weren’t the same any longer. Some of them were too toxic for their own existence and I just couldn’t sit and watch wasting their life in front of me. I had traveled with a partner or with friends, and some of the trips were absolutely amazing but they were holidays not life on the road. I would love to find someone who had the same lifestyle as me but I haven’t been lucky so far. I met many guys saying they would love to do what I’m doing but not now, maybe one day. I even felt In love with someone who made me believe he would be that person but sadly at the end, he couldn’t face his fears and simply could not make the final step to commit to a life on a road. Life on the road always sounds dreamy and very appealing to many but in reality, you have to have a lot of courage to do it. Only a digital nomad would know what I am talking about. There are 3 types of people you would meet while living your dream.
Number 1 is the person who would right away admit that they love what you are doing but they would never be able to live the life you do. They are great for a week or two but after that, they would pull away since they know they can’t give you what you want.
Number two is what I call them the dreamers. They would admire you for your freedom and even start picturing themselves doing the same. They truly want to be you and for a long period of time they would keep that dream going with finding a million excuses why they “can’t start traveling just now”. They would join you for a few weeks now and then, but they would never be a full-time traveler like you. They have way too many insecurities and fears to be the free spirit they so much want to be. This type is harder to get detached from. They would truly make you believe they would do it all for you.
The third type is what I call them “ unicorn” and sadly I have not come across one quite yet. This is the type of guy who is a lot like you. They have it all figured it out. They are a man on their words and not afraid of taking a risk and living the dream life. They already been living on the road and working remotely and they are not afraid of packing a bag and starting a new life on the opposite side of the world. Even if I haven’t met one yet I do know they do exist and I’m still hoping one day I would come across one 😉
But till then… I should answer the second part of the question… “ Do I get lonely “?
When I’m traveling on my own I’m so much more motivated and I’m not sure if I’m not just compensating for the relationship but I’m always busy with things. When I travel alone I normally try to volunteer more and help the local community as much as I can. I also meet a lot of strangers that I fixate turning them to my friends( doesn’t take much lol ). So the answer is NO. I don’t get lonely but I do get tired of “dreamers”. I do get tired of fake promises and having my hopes up that “he” would be “ different” and would actually do what he is saying. The more I travel the more I confirm to myself that women are the stronger gender and that we have more courage to face the unknown and to follow our dreams alone. Guys do need to find the women to give them this courage. I know this last sentence would sound very feminine but it’s only based on my personal life experience and observation. Maybe I just have not met the guy to prove me wrong, but so far I have not met one. What I’m talking about is that by far I’ve met many guys who are taking a month or 6 months, even a year off from work to follow their dreams but when I ask would they do that all the time the answer is very often(not to say aways ) NO. I’m not sure why is that but I’ve met so many girls that are full-time nomads and are very happy with it. Perhaps as males are more competitive they measure their success by comparing to others and therefore they need to work(compete) in a team not independently. Not sure what is the answer to that but I can definitely tell you that for my over 10 years of traveling I’ve only met one male in mid-age who was traveling solo and not afraid of facing a challenge to relocate for few months. On the other hand, I can’t even count the number of females I met choosing to be single and enjoying the solo traveling.
You always have a choice on how to see the world and how to react in any situation. You can choose to stay at your hotel/Airbnb room and be miserable how lonely you feel or you can go out there and make new friends. Sadly this same concept applies not only to a traveler. I met people that would be unhappy with a location because they “didn’t know anyone”, but when I asked them what they do to make friends they weren’t able to come up with anything. If you are just new to traveling and life on the road, maybe my article “ 10 ways to make friends when on the road” will be helpful. My point is the way we live our life is a choice and we can choose to take control over it or make a choice for life to take control over us.
I’m always open to the possibility to find that “unicorn” but if not I would add another friend to my travel circle. If you are in the same position or if you want to just say hi, please don’t be shy. I would love to hear your opinion on dating as a digital nomad.
