The feeling of losing something or someone is the worst feeling ever. But if you look deep into that, the truth is we never lose anything. If at some point someone has to leave our life it’s just because we grow apart, or because we no longer share the same “time zone”. Meaning we want two different things and we no longer have the same perspective. It’s the same with any friendship. Think about how many friends you lost in the past. Think about how many “best friends” you had and how many of your ” best friends” at the moment will still be in your life in say 10 years. Probably you will completely replace them. I know the thought of it hurts and no one really wants to admit it. But the truth is we, as humans, are programmed to use each other and at the moment when there is nothing we can use/collect/learn/take from the other person we slowly pushing them away. It’s like a bottle of water… If full we are caring it around and look at it as a very precious thing, but once empty we are ready to throw it away. Yes, we can refill it and use it all over, but would never be the same. We would never enjoy it the same way as we did the first time and most likely we will keep refilling it only because we are holding back to the very first memory. ( or evaluating the cost of it. I’m not talking only about the financial side, it could be emotion investment or time-consuming) The reason most couples are fighting and ending up not talking to each other(sometimes even ready to kill each other) is because each one is holding a different memory and in the process of readjusting to each other, this moment gets lost. Instead of just ” going with the flow” and trying to replace this first feeling every day with a new one most people get stuck in the very first stage of the relationship. In situations like that the best thing to do is just to let it go. Easy to say hard to do, but believe me you don’t want to hold back to something that is already over. Is like having a dead pet at home. It will keep the good memory for probably a day or two and then all this good memory will be replaced with the memory of the dead smelly body… So why do you want to do this to yourself??? Just let it go, keep the good memory in your “instruction of life” storage room and make more space for the new adventures and for the new people you will meet in the future. I know it’s sound like ” living day by day” and not be “suitable to settle down”… But the truth is you don’t really want to settle down with something or someone that is not what you want. You might think is impossible but relationships that last forever exists and you should not just be with someone because you are feeling social pressure from the society or because you are afraid of being alone. Just be single, learn how to let it go and at the moment when you learn how to live a life without holding it back and replace every good memory with a better one, mastering the process of emotional evolution then you will be able to get the relationship you want. Once you learn how to take control of your own emotions then you can start learning how to share this experience with someone else!
